next door to paradise

Immovable Object

admin — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 14:39:39 +0000

We’ve discovered Biko’s superpower. Although he has a normal resting weight of 58 pounds within Earth’s gravitational field–well within normal parameters for a dog–if he is lying in my spot on the bed, he activates his special neutron star mass, becoming virtually immovable. We are researching more beneficial applications.

Bird-brained

admin — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 13:46:01 +0000

The dog, lying in the shade of the gardenia bush, thinks that the “lesser” in lesser mockingbird refers to diminished cognitive capacity, because nesting five feet off the ground and then constantly bitching at a dog seems a little brainless.

So Considerate

admin — Wed, 12 May 2010 16:42:30 +0000

Thanks for driving through my yard when you rounded the curve, as I am sure you frequently do. It was particularly nice that you ran over my sprinkler. Since I just bought it, I was really looking forward to plunking down another thirty bucks. I hope you aren’t hurt when your tire blows out.

Light Pollution

admin — Wed, 05 May 2010 01:51:00 +0000

It is a very clear, moonless night and I was in the back yard looking at the sky. I could see less than fifty stars and one planet. It reminded me of when I would look up as a child and marvel at the seemingly infinite cloud of stars that cut across the heavens. I can’t remember the last time I saw the Milky Way. I really miss it.

Shabby Dee’s Strawberry-Guava Pie

admin — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 15:51:19 +0000

Filling:

1 qt fresh, sliced strawberries
9 ounces guava paste
1/2 cup organic turbinado sugar
6 T cornstarch
1 t sea salt

Melt guava paste in a microwave and stir until an even consistency is attained. Do not overheat. Allow to cool.

In a large bowl, add guava paste to sliced strawberries, sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Stir until thoroughly combined. Chill until crust is ready.

Crust:

2 1/2 cups organic pastry flour, plus extra for rolling
1 cup chilled organic butter
1 t organic turbinado sugar
1 t sea salt
8-12 T ice water (approximate)
Organic canola oil spray to prevent sticking and sogginess

In a large bowl, combing flour, salt, and sugar. Cut in butter with a pastry blender until pea-sized. Add water 1 T at a time, lifting the dough mixture with a fork. If the crumbly dough holds together when pinched, it is ready.

Turn the dough out onto a clean surface. Divide in half and shape into two equal discs. Do not over-knead. Place on plastic wrap, sprinkle lightly with flour, wrap, and refrigerate for at least one hour.

Preheat an oven to 350 degrees.

Lightly spray a 10-inch pie pan with canola oil. Remove the dough from the refrigerator 10-15 minutes before rolling. Roll out one disc on a lightly-floured pastry cloth to somewhat larger than the pan. Gently press the crust into the bottom. Trim with kitchen scissors, leaving the crust about 1/2-inch larger than the pan. Lightly spray the crust with cooking oil.

Stir the filling again and spoon it onto the crust, distributing it evenly. Lightly spray the top of the filling with canola oil.

Roll out the second disc of dough on the pastry cloth, once again, somewhat larger than the pan. Place the crust on top of the pie filling and trim with kitchen scissors, leaving a 1/2-inch overlap. Tuck the top crust down outside the bottom crust, pinching the crusts together all the way around the pan. Cut four 2-inch slits in the top crust for venting. Loosely cover the pie with foil.

Line the bottom shelf of the oven with foil to in case of spillage. Place the pie on the center rack of the preheated oven and bake for 50 minutes. Remove the foil from the top of the pie and cook until the top crust is golden brown, approximately 15 minutes. Cooking times may vary by oven and pie pan.

Remove the pie from the oven and cool on a rack until warm, approximately one hour.

Serving suggestion:

Slice the warm pie and serve with vanilla ice cream.

Shabby Dee’s Passion Fruit-Mango Pie

shabby dee — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 15:36:11 +0000

Filling:

4 16-ounce jars of sliced mango (or substitute equivalent amount of fresh, non-fibrous mangoes)
1 14-ounce package passion fruit pulp
1/2 cup organic turbinado sugar
6 T cornstarch
1 t sea salt

Drain and cube mango (or if fresh, peel, slice, and cube) and place in a large bowl. Add passion fruit pulp, sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Stir until thoroughly combined. Chill until crust is ready.

Crust:

2 1/2 cups organic pastry flour, plus extra for rolling
1 cup chilled organic coconut oil, consistency of refrigerated butter
1 t organic turbinado sugar
1 t sea salt
8-12 T ice water (approximate)
Organic canola oil spray to prevent sticking and sogginess

In a large bowl, combing flour, salt, and sugar. Cut in coconut oil with a pastry blender until pea-sized. Add water 1 T at a time, lifting the dough mixture with a fork. If the crumbly dough holds together when pinched, it is ready.

Preheat an oven to 350 degrees.

Stir the filling again and spoon it onto the crust, distributing it evenly. Lightly spray the top of the filling with canola oil.

Remove the pie from the oven and cool on a rack until warm, approximately one hour.

Serving suggestion:

Slice the warm pie and serve with vanilla ice cream.

Expect More, Pay Less

shabby dee — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 11:52:09 +0000

They are remodeling our local Target and I have to question their priorities. The entire store is in turmoil, but they managed to install those red spheres at the entrance. Today, they had a workman sealing around the base of each. Management must have been anxious to report back to corporate headquarters that they got their caulk and balls out in front of the store.

Tea Bag Turmoil

shabby dee — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 01:57:42 +0000

The good news: Ted Deutch, the Democrat running to replace our district’s outstanding congressman, Robert Wexler, has won with over sixty percent of the vote. The bad news: The Republican Teabagger running as an independent, Ed Lynch, got over thirty percent of the vote. If only they could develop a vaccine . . . .

Granny Surprise

shabby dee — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 17:59:07 +0000

I walk up with my ballot and run it through the voting machine. Looking at the counter and, reacting to the low voter turnout, I say, “69? That’s kind of sad.” The little, old lady poll worker standing there, laughs and says, “Oh, I don’t know, it may be a lucky number for you today.” I’m pretty sure I blushed.

Mango Time

shabby dee — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 13:14:15 +0000

Our mango trees are in bloom. The Carrie already has about fifty baby mangoes on it. Hopefully, half of those will be retained. The Keitt has just begun blooming. We’ll be eating Carries in June and July, Keitts in August and September.