next door to paradise » observations

Immovable Object

admin — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 14:39:39 +0000

We’ve discovered Biko’s superpower. Although he has a normal resting weight of 58 pounds within Earth’s gravitational field–well within normal parameters for a dog–if he is lying in my spot on the bed, he activates his special neutron star mass, becoming virtually immovable. We are researching more beneficial applications.

Bird-brained

admin — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 13:46:01 +0000

The dog, lying in the shade of the gardenia bush, thinks that the “lesser” in lesser mockingbird refers to diminished cognitive capacity, because nesting five feet off the ground and then constantly bitching at a dog seems a little brainless.

Light Pollution

admin — Wed, 05 May 2010 01:51:00 +0000

It is a very clear, moonless night and I was in the back yard looking at the sky. I could see less than fifty stars and one planet. It reminded me of when I would look up as a child and marvel at the seemingly infinite cloud of stars that cut across the heavens. I can’t remember the last time I saw the Milky Way. I really miss it.

Right Turns

shabby dee — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 13:43:11 +0000

We have greatly expanded the “right turn on red when clear” rule in South Florida. Among your other choices: “right turn on red when not clear,” “left turn on red when clear,” “right turn from the left lane when you think you can make it,” “left turn on red when you think you got robbed by the light,” and the ever-popular “blow through the red light at high speed while talking on the mobile phone.”

Singular Reason For Existence

shabby dee — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 14:15:38 +0000

There’s only one thing I like about Halloween and Wal-Mart: candy corn flavor saltwater taffy.