next door to paradise » incidents

So Considerate

admin — Wed, 12 May 2010 16:42:30 +0000

Thanks for driving through my yard when you rounded the curve, as I am sure you frequently do. It was particularly nice that you ran over my sprinkler. Since I just bought it, I was really looking forward to plunking down another thirty bucks. I hope you aren’t hurt when your tire blows out.

Expect More, Pay Less

shabby dee — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 11:52:09 +0000

They are remodeling our local Target and I have to question their priorities. The entire store is in turmoil, but they managed to install those red spheres at the entrance. Today, they had a workman sealing around the base of each. Management must have been anxious to report back to corporate headquarters that they got their caulk and balls out in front of the store.

Tea Bag Turmoil

shabby dee — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 01:57:42 +0000

The good news: Ted Deutch, the Democrat running to replace our district’s outstanding congressman, Robert Wexler, has won with over sixty percent of the vote. The bad news: The Republican Teabagger running as an independent, Ed Lynch, got over thirty percent of the vote. If only they could develop a vaccine . . . .

Granny Surprise

shabby dee — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 17:59:07 +0000

I walk up with my ballot and run it through the voting machine. Looking at the counter and, reacting to the low voter turnout, I say, “69? That’s kind of sad.” The little, old lady poll worker standing there, laughs and says, “Oh, I don’t know, it may be a lucky number for you today.” I’m pretty sure I blushed.

Temptation

shabby dee — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 17:05:14 +0000

12-year old girl in Petco, takes three steps toward the puppy adoption center, turns around and says, “Stay focused.”

Publix Section

shabby dee — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 15:16:52 +0000

Old dude walking past the sodas in Publix supermarket: “WATTAH DE-POT-MENT!”

Priorities and Stilettos

shabby dee — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 13:31:19 +0000

Man, gingerly leading a woman on his arm through a darkened parking lot: “When we get home, you’re going to put on your highest heels and walk around in them until you’re comfortable in them.”

Beyond Chewing Gum

shabby dee — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 13:44:32 +0000

A man in the grocery store parking lot last night answered an age-old question for me: can a person wearing bagpipes text and walk at the same time? The answer is yes.

Sign of the End-Times?

shabby dee — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 13:59:32 +0000

Why is my tongue cleaving to the roof of my mouth? Is something apocalyptic going down? Oh, wait. False alarm. Sleeping with the furnace on.

December Mosquitoes

shabby dee — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 14:01:01 +0000

Why is there a freaking mosquito in my house? Biko! Close the patio door!