Thanks for driving through my yard when you rounded the curve, as I am sure you frequently do. It was particularly nice that you ran over my sprinkler. Since I just bought it, I was really looking forward to plunking down another thirty bucks. I hope you aren’t hurt when your tire blows out.
They are remodeling our local Target and I have to question their priorities. The entire store is in turmoil, but they managed to install those red spheres at the entrance. Today, they had a workman sealing around the base of each. Management must have been anxious to report back to corporate headquarters that they got their caulk and balls out in front of the store.
The good news: Ted Deutch, the Democrat running to replace our district’s outstanding congressman, Robert Wexler, has won with over sixty percent of the vote. The bad news: The Republican Teabagger running as an independent, Ed Lynch, got over thirty percent of the vote. If only they could develop a vaccine . . . .
I walk up with my ballot and run it through the voting machine. Looking at the counter and, reacting to the low voter turnout, I say, “69? That’s kind of sad.” The little, old lady poll worker standing there, laughs and says, “Oh, I don’t know, it may be a lucky number for you today.” I’m pretty sure I blushed.
12-year old girl in Petco, takes three steps toward the puppy adoption center, turns around and says, “Stay focused.”
Old dude walking past the sodas in Publix supermarket: “WATTAH DE-POT-MENT!”
Man, gingerly leading a woman on his arm through a darkened parking lot: “When we get home, you’re going to put on your highest heels and walk around in them until you’re comfortable in them.”
A man in the grocery store parking lot last night answered an age-old question for me: can a person wearing bagpipes text and walk at the same time? The answer is yes.
Why is my tongue cleaving to the roof of my mouth? Is something apocalyptic going down? Oh, wait. False alarm. Sleeping with the furnace on.
Why is there a freaking mosquito in my house? Biko! Close the patio door!